


Revelation

by mystiri1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: deancastiel, God!Cas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-02
Updated: 2011-07-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 23:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/218280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystiri1/pseuds/mystiri1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were some things Dean thought you should know about a person - angel? being? - before you slept with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Revelation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [otp_destiel](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=otp_destiel).



It's only after the third time Castiel visits him that Dean realised the amulet Sam gave him always glowed warm against his chest in Castiel's presence. It's the first time he could remember it reacting to anything; he had a vague recollection of Sam saying it was supposed to be some sort of protective charm or something, but it seemed ironic that it would react to angels and not demons or anything else that they've faced over the years.

Of course, by this stage Dean had already figured out that angels weren't the simpering, fluffy-winged darlings of Hallmark fame. That night in the barn, Castiel's appearance had been accompanied by winds so strong that they tore the structure apart, and his first glimpses of the trench-coated figure had been illuminated by heat lightning bright enough to drown out the watery glow of the camp lanterns. He hadn't known what Castiel was then, but the strange man had practically radiated power, and the shadow of wings against weathered timbers had filled him with an odd mixture of fear and awe.

Dean did awe just about as well as he did fear, so he found himself mouthing off to an angel of the Lord until he no longer felt either; it was just Cas, after all. It was a pity that tactic didn't work as well with other angels: Uriel raised the hairs on the back of his neck, but maybe that was to be expected of someone who referred to him as a mud-monkey and seemed perfectly happy to wipe out whole towns of innocent civilians. (Dean's irreverence didn't go down so well with him, and he wasn't really surprised Uriel turned out to be a bad guy.) And Zachariah with his smarmy, insurance-salesman smile just made him feel sort of greasy. It probably had more to do with the fact that Cas was less of a dick than most.

And Zachariah proved himself to be a huge dick, even bigger than Uriel.

Dean was still reeling from the truth of Zachariah's plans when Cas appeared in the Green Room. The angel looked shaken, something unexpectedly fragile in his eyes. Dean related the high points of what Zachariah told him, and his shoulders slumped even further beneath the tan fabric of his trench coat. Dean was inches away from giving him a hug or something because even though touchy-feely chick-flick moments were not really his thing, it was worse than Sam's puppy-eyes seeing Cas like this.

Then his head came up, and Dean could see the burning intensity he remembered from that first meeting, before everything got messy and complicated and completely fucked up. His shoulders squared, and in the low, flat tones Dean had become oddly used to, backed by the power of total conviction, Castiel told him, “This is not God's plan.”

Dean didn't really believe in God. He didn't really believe in angels, either; he now knew they existed, but didn't see how that required any sort of faith on his part. So, yeah, he supposed God probably existed, but he didn't think much about Him, or about His plans because so far his destiny seemed to be nothing more than a stinking pile of _crap_ , but when Castiel said it like that, Dean believed him.

That didn't mean that they managed to stop Lucifer from rising, of course. Dean arrived too late, Cas got blown up and Lucifer got out of his cage. If God had any plans worth mentioning, he didn't seem to be much on the follow-through. The apocalypse was back on track, despite their best efforts.

When Castiel reappeared, he was firmly convinced that his Father had brought him back. Dean was less easily persuaded. But he couldn't help but feel a little sympathy for Castiel's cause.

“Angels were created to love and serve our Father,” Cas explained earnestly. “I am sure it is only because He has been gone for so long that they are doing this. If He tells them to stop, they will.”

Dean wasn't so sure, but he remembered there had been a time when he thought his Dad really could make everything better, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It was a childhood conviction that lingered long into adulthood; he'd only faltered in that belief after his dad's death, realised that while John Winchester had tried his hardest, he hadn't always been right, hadn't always protected them enough, and would not, in the end, be able to give Dean back the happy family he only dimly remembered.

So he wished Cas luck in his search, and told him that if there was anything they could do to help, they would.

He wasn't expecting Cas to ask him to help trap an archangel, especially one who had already killed him once. And even he was a little shocked when Raphael said God was dead, that their Father was gone for good. But that was nothing compared to the devastated look on Castiel's face at the words. And somehow, comforting Cas afterwards turned into taking Cas to bed and fucking him into the mattress.

Dean knew when Cas was feeling better, because then it was his turn. Afterwards, they lay together, Cas sprawled against his chest, absently toying with the amulet.

“What's this?” he asked.

“It was a gift from Sam,” Dean explained. “Back when we were kids. He gave it to me for Christmas the year he found out monsters were real.” Dean's fingers slipped up to brush against the metal, although he didn't need to touch it to feel the glow of warmth it gave off just then, far more than it usually did. “It's supposed to protect me, or something.” He didn't mention how angry Sam had been at their father that year. Angry at being lied to, at being shut out of such a large part of his brother and father's lives. He'd never taken the amulet off in all the years he'd owned it, choosing to think of it as a reminder that his brother loved him. He didn't want to be reminded of the other things that went with it.

As it was, he had to talk a bit about his own Dad to convince Cas not to give up on his search. That wasn't so great, because after his Dad had died, Dean had figured out just how mad he was at him, and he didn't want that sort of confusion for Cas, who had enough trouble with emotions at the best of times. But Dean had still loved his father, and couldn't really imagine just giving up on him.

It turned out that Cas couldn't imagine giving up on God, either. Dean was glad the pep talk worked, but he couldn't help but think it was still a little weird that Cas had never even seen the guy.

But despite Cas's intent searching, it was Gabriel who found God.

Dean was more than a little pissed to discover the Trickster who so enjoyed messing with him and his brother was yet another angel-dick, and an archangel-dick at that. It was true that Gabriel was probably a powerful ally, but that didn't mean Dean no longer felt the urge to strangle him on a regular basis. On the other hand, Gabriel was also capable of mojoing up really good alcohol when the occasion called for it, which is how Dean ended up drunkenly confessing, “I was kind of surprised you were an angel, 'cos the pendant never did anything, but I guess that's 'cos you were pretending to be something else.”

“What pendant?”

“M' amulet that Sammy gave me. 's an angel-detector.” In Dean's defence, he was really very drunk at this point.

“Gimme a look.”

Dean fished the pendant out of his shirt. Whatever strange metal the amulet was made of, it was currently cool to his touch. “See?” He had to lean forward to stop from strangling as Gabriel examined it.

“This...” Gabriel turned it over in his hands, and then let it drop to fall back against Dean's chest. It wasn't even remotely warmed by its brief contact with the archangel. “It's not an angel-detector. What made you think that?”

“It always warms up when angels are around.”

“Any angels?” Gabriel asked, looking at him intently.

Dean had to think hard, but he slowly managed to separate out the various incidents in his mind. It lit up when Cas showed up, and then when Cas and Uriel had been there – but now that he thought about it, it had never warmed for Zachariah in the Green Room, or any time since. And Uriel he had mostly seen in Castiel's presence; he can't remember whether it was warm or not when Uriel was alone.

“It warms up for Cas. It's a Cas detector.” And that was a little weird, that a supposedly protective amulet would do that, but then Cas had protected him from a lot of things, starting when he dragged Dean's sorry ass out of hell.

“Why don't you call Cas now?”

There was something a little funny about Gabriel's voice, the way Gabriel was looking at him, but Dean found himself nodding, “Okay,” and picking up his cell phone.

Cas appeared a few minutes later, frowning at Dean where he sat with a half-empty bottle in front of him. “You've been drinking,” he said disapprovingly. He turned the frown upon Gabriel. “You shouldn't encourage him. Alcohol has distinctly non-beneficial effects upon humans. Nor I do believe you should be indulging in such behaviour, either.”

“Alcohol has some very beneficial effects, as it happens,” Gabriel smirked. “And I think it's a little too late for you to be lecturing me on my drinking habits, _Father_.”

Dean blinked in incomprehension. There was an equal look of bafflement on Castiel's face, and then something... shifted. The amulet gave a sharp flare of heat against his chest, far more than the usual warm, happy glow he associated with Cas's presence. “Gabriel,” he said with a sigh, and while the low tones were Cas all over, the voice was deeper, more powerful. More. “Somehow you always manage to be more trouble than Michael and Lucifer put together.”

Gabriel's smirk grew. Cas's head turned towards Dean, but understanding had dawned, and it was suddenly vitally important to Dean that he not have to look at Cas while Somebody Else looked back.

Dean bolted.

It was probably a miracle that he didn't wreck the Impala, as loaded as he was, but he felt perfectly sober as he drove far and fast from the motel room where he'd just discovered his lover was – He couldn't quite bring himself to think it. It was too weird. And the fact that he drove nearly a full day with no Cas – _God_ – showing up in the passenger seat meant that Dean was right, and whatever strange thing they had going on between them was definitely over now. It was one thing to be having sex with an angel – something Dean had always thought was likely to see him sent to Hell a second time around – it was another to be having sex with the being who had apparently created the universe and everything in it. It wasn't really all that surprising that Cas – _God_ – hadn't come chasing after him. Why would he?

It was this thought that Dean pulling over to the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, his head resting against the steering wheel in a posture of utter despair. He'd come to rely on Cas, to care about him. It had reached the point where Cas was on par with Sam in Dean's thoughts and plans, and he wasn't quite sure what that meant, but it was possible he was just a little bit in love with the angel. Who wasn't an angel at all.

Dean gave a bitter laugh. He knew he was fucked, and fucked good, this time. He had fallen in love with Cas, had dared to think that maybe Cas loved him back, and Castiel wasn't even real.

“That's not true,” a familiar voice said beside him. Dean's fingers clenched hard on the steering wheel, so hard that his knuckles turned white. “I _am_ real.”

“You're fucking _God_ ,” Dean retorted. “No, wait, _I'm_ fucking God; God is fucking _me_.”

“I should have come earlier,” Cas muttered. “Giving you this long to think was clearly a mistake.”

“No, don't worry; I'm quite sure you had more important things to do.” The words sounded bitchy and petulant even to Dean's ears, but he figured if God was supposed to be an omniscient being, he probably heard everything he was thinking, anyway.

“Not everything,” God said, then made a small sound of irritation. “Give me a minute.”

Dean didn't even raise his head.

“I am sorry; it's hard not to let myself spread out after spending the afternoon dealing with angels. It is just like you are always telling me, that I have no concept of personal space,” and the words, the tone, it was all so perfectly Cas that he looked up.

Cas was looking back at him with worried eyes. “It is very rude,” he said solemnly, “to have a conversation where only one person can hear the other's thoughts.”

“You're saying you're not reading my mind now?”

“No, I am not. You said to me a long time ago you were uncomfortable with this. I apologise for letting my control slip.” Cas hesitated. “I am real, though. _Castiel_ is real. I have been Castiel for millennia; it is only last night that I remembered also being God.”

“What, you were doing the witness protection programme, like Gabriel?” Dean's voice was slightly mocking, but he sat back in his seat and turned to face Cas, willing to listen.

Even if he still didn't think this was going to have any sort of happy outcome.

“Something like that.” Cas sighed. “I told you that angels were created to love and serve me; it is only when I created humans that I realised this was a mistake. Lucifer was so angry, and in a way, he was also right.”

“What?! No, he wasn't! Lucy is a douche who couldn't handle there being a new baby in the house, so he got all upset and threw a temper tantrum. You can't -”

Cas interrupted him. “I said, _in a way_ he was right. I made my first children to love and serve me, but humans I gave a choice. A choice I never gave to my first children, however much I loved them. They would do anything I asked because they loved me, and never realise they could do otherwise. Lucifer was wrong to hate humanity so, but ordering them to love anyone, even me – What value could there be in such a feeling?”

“So you pulled a disappearing act. To what, give them a chance to make their own decisions?” Dean snorted. “Congratulations, they're doing wonders on that front.”

“Yes, I have already put a halt to this apocalypse of theirs,” Cas said, and for someone who never had all that big a range of emotional expressions before, there was no hiding his disappointment now. “I had not thought my absence would have such a discouraging effect on them. But I did not want to leave them entirely. Despite Lucifer's accusations, I love all my children, including the first-born, and I wanted to be with them. So I remade myself as a new angel, one of the younger ones created after Lucifer's departure, and allowed myself to forget, so that I would better fit in as one of the Host.”

“You wanted them to love you for you,” Dean said, and it was such an astonishing thought that he knew it was true.

“That – I – It sounds different when you put it like that,” Cas objected, a little plaintively.

“You wanted them to love Castiel because of what he was, instead of God because of who He was,” Dean insisted.

“Love is still very unconditional among the Host.”

“Zachariah never liked you. Did you like Zachariah?” Dean's face screwed up at the idea of it.

Cas drew himself up. “Zachariah is one of my children; of course I love him. I am just... disappointed.”

“Huh, I bet old Zach really isn't too happy just now,” and Dean smiled despite the look on Castiel's face.

“That is not the point,” Cas said firmly. “You thought that I had lied to you, tricked you somehow, but that was never my intention. I had no memory of who I had been in the past; I _was_ Castiel, and everything that we shared was real.”

Cas stared at him, that too-intent look Dean used to complain about, but this time Dean met it head on. Silence stretched out between them.

Finally, Dean spoke. “You're saying the fact that you're God doesn't change anything between us?”

Cas looked down at his lap. His fingers plucked at a loose thread on his trench coat. When he looked up again, his eyes were bright and pleading. “The one thing I was certain of when I doubted everything else was that you loved me... for _me_.”

Dean felt all his defences give way, anger and hurt fading, because that was something he understood. “Yeah,” he said, the word a soft sigh, and he leaned forward to pull Cas into a kiss that hopefully expressed everything he couldn't. “Same here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: What if Castiel really was God? But what if that didn't come out until after Dean and Cas have started having sex? For otp_destiel via deancastiel's Everlasting Birthday Challenge.


End file.
